indulge
by halcyon calamity
Summary: Rose is not in love with Scorpius Malfoy, but she kisses him anyway. Written for the Seven Deadly Sins Competition on HPFC.


_Rose is not in love with Scorpius Malfoy._

_He is arrogant and infuriating and absolutely charming, a combination Rose must despise. He has gorgeous looks that will make any girl fall at his feet - and he knows it, too. He knows every single way to make her crack, to break into little glass shards swept away by the howling wind._

_Rose is not in love with Scorpius Malfoy, but she kisses him anyway._

* * *

She grew up with strict rules and demanding - but loving - parents, so it's no wonder that Hogwarts, to her, really means _freedom. _

So when Ron Weasley told her "not to get too friendly," she resolved to do exactly that.

Only six years after that day on the platform did she get around to doing it.

* * *

It's the Gryffindor Quidditch Cup victory party when everything starts. In truth, Rose shouldn't even be there - she _is _a Ravenclaw through and through, after all - but she gets dragged along anyway by Lily and Al.

_Rose has her head on straight_, they tell Fred, who looks slightly worried at letting her be there. (As if anyone could _let _her do anything, ha)._ She won't do anything stupid._

Maybe she resents being the good girl. Maybe someone "accidentally" handed her the firewhiskey instead of the butterbeer. Either way, she someone finds herself making out with Scorpius Malfoy and _not regretting it._

They pass out on the floor of the Gryffindor common room, not even realizing their fingers are interlaced.

* * *

Two weeks later and Rose has moved on. She tells everyone she doesn't have time to go to anymore bashes, with NEWTs coming up and all, but in all honesty she just doesn't want to wake up next to Scorpius Malfoy again.

It isn't the fact that she hated it -

it's the fact that she _didn't._

But rumors spread like wildfire, just as they always have, and suddenly everyone knows about Rose and Scorpius holding hands, and people whisper about it over and over again as if it is the dirtiest act ever committed.

Funny, how the purest innocence can be twisted the most.

Rose is angry, because her family won't talk about it to her face and her friends keep badgering her and on top of that, she only got an E on her last essay and then she finds herself pulling Scorpius Malfoy into a broom closet to make her _forget. _

Afterwards, he pulls away and his eyes ask, _is this our beginning?_

She doesn't have the heart to say no - so she smiles and pulls him back in.

* * *

They spend Valentine's day not speaking to each other at all. Rose feels guilty because she technically cheated, asking him for a quill in Charms, but technically he did too because he smiled and answered.

It's not until February 15th that they meet on top of the Astronomy Tower and she allows herself to seek warmth in his arms.

Rose is not in love with Scorpius Malfoy, but she lets him hold her close.

* * *

She gets the acceptance letter on a warm April morning. _Congratulations, _it says, but Rose can't help thinking it is only mocking her.

She has always wanted to travel to America - but Scorpius has already shared about his entrance into the Auror Academy next fall.

_You don't even love him, _she criticizes herself as they share a secret smile. _You know he deserves more._

_Then, why does it hurt to think of letting him go?_

* * *

They've never been one for talking. No, their meetings around the castle are usually quiet, save for the sound of their trysts.

But on that unusually chilly June night, Malfoy breaks the silence.

_I think I'm falling in love with you._

And Rose has nothing to say, because he deserves more than a lie, more than a relationship where the other can't return his feelings. _She was so close_, she realizes, when she looks into his eyes and all she can find is adoration, _so close to falling in love with him. _

He is arrogant and infuriating and absolutely charming, a combination Rose must despise. He has gorgeous looks that will make any girl fall at his feet - and he knows it, too. He knows every single way to make her crack, to break into little glass shards swept away by the howling wind.

And despite all of it, _she could have fallen for him._

But graduation is only days away. It is too late now, because she has already made her choice months ago. At the end of the month, she will leave for America on her internship and quite possibly stay there for a few years, at least. She gave up many things for this dream, and although he deserves more, Scorpius is just another sacrifice she had to make, albeit one she tossed away carefully, as if trying not to break him completely.

She can't return his words because she can't - _or won't - _stay with him.

But she does anyway.

Rose is not in love with Scorpius Malfoy. But when her finger is inches away from the Portkey, she thinks she might have been in denial all along.

* * *

_Written for the Seven Deadly Sins Competition on HPFC._


End file.
